Augmentation and alternatives to psychiatric medications- specifics to come

The end of last year was pretty rough for me.  I have several diagnosis and other potential ones- of which I don't really need to detail because diagnosis are sometimes inaccurate anyway.  I was intensely suicidal; experiencing aggressive mood swings that resulted from various substances (even foods), environmental cues, and independent of any discernible initiating factor; engaging in risk taking behaviors both dependent and independent of mood disturbances; experiencing severe negative symptoms of a schizophrenic nature; had poor impulse control; and, severe drug seeking thoughts and dreams despite having abstained from engaging in the destructive pattern I had exhibited in the past.

Being on 5+ psychiatric medications for current diagnosis and receiving 2+ hours of psychotherapy (CST- CBT + substance abuse therapy) left me stable enough to not be admitted into the hospital, but the removal of self-medication seemed to initiate my suicidal behaviors/tendencies exponentially.  Not long after I stopped(roughly Christmas of last year) I had definite plans of committing suicide and even had ways of doing so that would divert suspicion of suicide to an accidental death.  I didn't want to leave my family feeling responsible or that they should have done more- I simply wanted out and to not live such a life where I felt that my mind was truly my biggest enemy.  I never voiced my intentions of ending my life at this time because I had every intention of doing it right this time.

Something inside of me remained defiant to the option of ending my life despite my mind incessantly desiring such an end.  I wasn't always a religious/faithful person, but renewed belief in GOD surely didn't hurt.  I ended up searching for a legal replacement for my drug of choice, alcohol, since I don't drink alcohol because I am prone to violent and impulsive behaviors with said use.  That being a blind alley, I diverted my attention from replacing the drugs I used to self-medicate with to a better option.  I adopted the philosophy that I was not involved enough in my treatment and began to search for answers and solutions.

I will have to say that what was next, regardless of being successful and doing it very cautiously, is not advised.  The main reason I say that is because this direction involved trying treatments of all kinds that are neither FDA approved nor treatments that prescribing doctors cannot truly advise on or predict the interactions of.  Dietary changes, nutritional supplements, and plant-based treatments were employed.  This is my final warning, no two people are alike and because something works for person A doesn't mean it will help person B and can, in fact, be VERY harmful for person B.  Correlation is not causation and you should keep that in mind when you try anything that is anecdotal and not proven through scientific methods.

I am testing various theories and also employing treatments that have proven validity to their effectiveness AS WELL AS being very cautious about methodology and documenting when, how much, how, with what, for how long, and purpose of the treatment.  Now, I not just taking about putting a substance in my body and we'll see what happens- but researching various treatments, how they work, what evidence supports efficacy or lack of, historical information, chemistry of treatment(if applicable), pharmacology, interactions, alternatives, and the "X" factors (ie- determining possible reasons for the success or failure of any treatment and basically try to factor that information into determining if it should be continued or not).  Since not even the smartest of doctors can say for sure how a patient will respond to psychiatric medications because the mind and exactly how it works is not currently understood and may remain that way despite advances in medical science.

I will be sharing what I found to be successful in my case in due time.  I will end with this:  I probably would be dead and gone by now had I not changed my approach, but I strongly urge you to avoid doing as I did- If you truly have no other choice, as in my case, I have to let you know(if you are getting help and it's not working, you're not alone) one last piece of advice: you can always put more of something into your body, you can't just "un-take" something.  Don't fret if being careful takes longer, it's a process and, as such, simply takes time.